


save me from myself

by potstickersss



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, F/F, F/M, James and Lena for like a second, Protective Kara Danvers, Supercorp endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-01 09:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16762312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potstickersss/pseuds/potstickersss
Summary: Lena goes to Kara after the failed trial, after losing Adam and seeks out the comfort only her best friend can provide. Secrets are exposed.





	1. please hold me

Alex, Brainy and J’onn had finally left leaving Kara to clean up and dress in a baggy white tee and loose black sweats that hang from her hips. She sighs as she tugs out the elastic from her hair, and shakes out her curls, running her fingers through them once before heading to her bathroom to wash up and brush her teeth.

She is brushing her teeth when she hears the timid knock and quickly spits and rests her toothbrush on the counter before speeding to the door. When she yanks it open her heart drops.

There on the other side is Lena, and she looks absolutely destroyed, chin trembling as her eyes shine with unshed tears, her face pulled up into a pained expression and Kara inhales sharply.

“Can I have a hug?” Lena rasps, her voice cracking and Kara doesn’t waste time.

Lena is in her arms a second later. As soon as Kara’s warmth and strong arms wrap around her Lena breaks and an ugly sob erupts from her lips. She feels her knees go weak and her legs give way under the weight of her heartbreak.

Kara’s heart stutters when the first sob falls from Lena and she is quick to hold Lena up when her legs give way. Carefully she scoops Lena up in her arms bridal style and moves inside, kicking her door shut as Lena fists Kara’s shirt desperately, gasping for breath her face resting in the crook of Kara’s neck.

Kara settles onto the couch, Lena in her lap and she rocks them side to side slowly, her arms tightening around Lena like she can protect Lena more by holding her tighter. Her own tears fall and she presses her cheek to Lena’s head and closes her eyes.

“I got you,” Kara whispers against Lena’s hair and presses a lingering kiss to her head. “I got you,” she murmurs again and Lena hiccups, her hold on Kara’s shirt falling limp and instead she shifts to wrap her arms around Kara’s middle with a vise like grip.

“I killed him,” Lena whimpers into Kara’s chest and Kara’s stomach drops, her brow crinkling in confusion.

“Who Lena?”

“Adam. He was just a kid. Fuck, he was just a kid!” Lena cries and Kara swallows hard, unsure what to do. “He wanted to help. He wanted to make a difference and in the end I failed. I failed to keep him alive. How could I do that? How could I let him sacrifice himself? I shouldn’t have listened to him.”

“Lena, please tell me what’s going on? Who is Adam?” Kara asks gently and Lena sniffles pulling back from Kara slowly, shame filling her features and Lena’s breath catches as she attempts to take a steadying breath.

“My test subject,” Lena whispers, her head head bowed and Kara inhales sharply.

“Oh.”

“He wasn’t supposed to die Kara.” Lena’s expression crumples and Kara immediately cups her cheeks gently.

“Hey, I didn’t know him but it sounds to me he was at peace with that risk. He was willing to take that chance for the better good. Isn’t that what you said? And if I’ve learned anything its that you don’t do something unless it will benefit others. You Lena Luthor are incredible and I am proud of you,” Kara tells her softly and Lena shakes her head vehemently pulling Kara’s hands from her face.

“Don’t say that. Don’t say you are proud of me. You shouldn’t be. You wouldn't say that if you knew,” Lena hisses and stands from Kara’s lap suddenly.

“What? What are you talking about Lena?” Kara asks standing now as she watches Lena pace anxiously.

“I kept Harun-El Kara!” Lena shouts, stopping abruptly to face Kara, “I lied and deceived you again. Its like I try to do good, but my method to achieve that is built on lies and immoral decisions. Every time I try to make the world better something horrible happens and I am always seen as the bad guy.”

Kara furrows her brow and crosses her arms as she eyes Lena seriously.

“You know.”

Lena releases a self-depreciate laugh. “Of course I know Kara. I’m a goddamn genius. Glasses aren’t enough.”

“How long?” Kara questions hesitantly.

“Longer than I would like to admit.”

Kara releases long breath before nodding and looking away from Lena with a bitter smile.

“Why, after everything are you still friends with me then?” Kara asks, her voice meek and Lena swallows the lump in her throat.

“Because even after everything I needed your support and comfort and I selfishly took it, forcing myself to separate you and Supergirl. I could despise Supergirl but still have my best friend. I don’t know Kara, it helped me keep my sanity. It was better than accepting that my best friend saw me as nothing but a Luthor.”

Kara’s face pinches in pain and she places her hands on her hips, digging her fingers into the bone as she looks down at the ground guilt filling her immediately.

“But I get it you know. I can see why you would think that. Finding out about Sam and Reign like that, I can see how horrible it looked. And I kept it from you. I thought I could fix it myself. Because I’ve been raised to defend myself. To be independent and to depend on others is weakness. But it also hurt that you took one look and didn’t even try to look past it. To see I was only trying to save Sam. Kryptonite was the only thing that could tame Reign and I didn’t second guess myself when I made it. Because it was desperate times and I wasn’t going to watch my friend die. It was never personal Kara. Hell I made a goddamn suit for you in case something went wrong.”

Lena finishes her speech with steel in her tone and Kara nods once.

“You’re right. Of course you are. And I should have trusted your intentions. I was not a good friend to you. I assumed and that is something I will never do again. I’m a reporter for Rao’s sake. I know there is more behind what meets the eye. But I don’t know Lena. Just seeing that and knowing you actively hid what was going on and that you had kryptonite it had me scared. Not of you. Never. But of all the things that could go wrong. Someone stealing the formula. Or someone finding out you know how and using you, forcing you to make it. And I guess I was right to fear that because of what happened with Mercy but I don’t blame you for that. For making kryptonite. I understand the need to feel safe and if… if having kryptonite makes you feel secure around me and my cousin then I can’t fault you. You are my best friend and that will never change, no matter what you do.”

Lena runs her hand through her hair as she stares at Kara with an unreadable expression.

“You think I’m scared of you?” Lena asks quietly and Kara shrugs self-consciously.

“Aren’t you? You said at Thanksgiving you wanted to even the playing field. Which I guess is probably what your experiment it about. You wanted to give Adam powers right? To make him strong enough to defeat me or just aliens in general?” Kara watches as Lena’s stiff posture deflates and worries her lip when her friend meets her gaze.

“Yes. That’s part of what I was trying to do. But I was also trying to cure cancer, to cure humans of any disease. Powers would have been the side effect I suppose but I wanted someone who wasn’t a hero. Or bad. Someone who was in between and wouldn’t let the power get to their head. I guess I still have some bitterness about what happened between us and that bled through in this project. But I think I was wrong. At least about you letting the power getting to your head. You’re one of the best people I know and the best hero we could ask for and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything,” Lena whispers, her throat tightening as tears burn her eyes.

“Lena that’s incredible and I know you will be able to figure it out. But have you thought about what that would do? Giving basically immortality to humans, possibly just a select few to defend the human race could be dangerous. People would become envious and desire that same power, the way people feel towards my cousin and I. The difference between that though is that I never asked for these powers. But I have them and I thought I would use them to help people, to save this planet so I never lose another one. If you start handing out an elixir to everyone what would happen to the circle of life? Would no one ever die?” Kara questions gently, no judgment in her tone just reasonable curiosity and Lena furrows her brows.

“I don’t know. I just… I’m tired of death Kara. Of losing people. I lost my mother and then Lionel and Jack and then Mercy. Its just never ending. But if I can save people’s lives then maybe I won’t be like my family, that I can try and do what I couldn’t do for my mom.”

Kara furrows her brows and closes the distance between her and Lena, gently placing her hands on Lena’s arms comfortingly.

“What do you mean, couldn’t do for your mom?”

Lena inhales sharply and focuses on Kara’s collarbones intensely, trying to keep her tears at bay.

“I didn’t save her. I didn’t try and do anything.”

“Whoa wait a second? Weren’t you four?” Kara asks carefully and Lena shrugs.

“What does it matter? I let my mom die. I watched her get sucked under in the lake and I just stood there. I didn’t scream or run to her. I just stood frozen and watched as she drowned. I killed my mom Kara,” Lena whimpers and Kara clenches her jaw tightly.

“You listen to me Lena Luthor. You did not kill your mom.”

“Yes I did!” Lena hisses, pulling away from Kara angrily and Kara narrows her gaze.

“Fine. Then tell me what you would have done to save her. You are four years old and standing at the edge of the water and watch as your mother slips under. Tell me what do you do?” Kara says bluntly and Lena flinches, her eyes wide as she stares at Kara, looking like a scared child.

“Scream for help, find someone.”

“But there is no one around to hear you. No one close enough to reach your mother in time. Now what?” Kara demands firmly, and Lena shakes her head.

“I can run in and grab her.”

“But you are only four. You are basically a baby, how do you expect to save your mother when she will most definitely weight you down and pull you under too. You will drown if you try. Now tell me, what else.”

“I-I don’t,” Lena stutters, shaking her head and Kara nods knowingly.

“You don’t have an answer because there was nothing you could have done. Now explain to me why you believe you are to blame for your mothers death. Did you force her into the water? Did you hold her under?”

“No,”Lena rasps meekly and Kara sighs, reaching out for Lena and this time Lena immediately steps into her comfort.

“You did nothing wrong Lee. Nothing. I understand the guilt okay? I think about how I could have tried to save my planet at least a hundred times a day. But I was a kid. I was thirteen and didn’t know what was going on until my parents placed me in my pod and sent me and Kal away leaving me to watch my planet explode before my eyes. I know how it feels to feel powerless. To feel like you failed to protect those you love. But Lena, you have to let it go. You need to or it will eat at you until you have nothing left. I still struggle with my loss everyday, and I feel empty all the time but some days are better than others. When I am around my family and especially around you. You make me happier than I can express Lena. Our relationship is my favourite thing on this planet and I hate seeing you in pain. I hate that I can’t fight this for you.”

Lena rests her forehead against Kara’s shoulder as a few tears spill down her cheeks, her hands gripping the back of Kara’s shirt like a life line. Kara ducks her head she she rest her cheek on Lena’s head, and rubs her hand across Lena’s back in attempt to comfort her.

“What do I do Kara?” Lena mumbles, desperately in need of someone to have the answers for her and Kara presses a kiss to her hair.

“I can’t tell you what to do, its your life but I can help you figure out your next step. But right now I think you need to sleep. Its been a very emotional and traumatic day, for both of us. Come on,” Kara tells her, linking their fingers together and tugs Lena through the apartment and into the bedroom. Kara has Lena sit on the bed while she goes and grabs so sleep clothes for her. She comes back with a plain navy blue hoodie, and a pair of black boxer shorts that Lena always wears when she sleeps over.

Lena takes them gratefully and heads to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth with the spare Kara keeps just for her. Kara takes that time to lock up and shut off all the lights before heading back to her room, finding Lena just settling into bed.

Kara sends her a soft smile when Lena looks over and slides under the covers, scooting closer so she can pull Lena into her chest. Lena sighs contently and fists the front of Kara’s shirt as she rests her head over Kara’s heart listening to the steady beat.

“Thank you,” Lena breathes and Kara hums, tightening her hold around Lena.

“I’m always going to be here Lena. And I will always be on your side. Never be scared to ask for my help or comfort. Its yours.”

“Ditto,” Lena mumbles, sleep tugging at her and Kara’s chest rumbles with a quiet chuckle, pulling a small smile from Lena before she is pulled under, falling into the black abyss of her unconsciousness.

Kara sighs as she hears Lena’s heart rate slow and her heavy breathing.

“I love you, and I’m going to do everything I can to protect you,” Kara whispers, pressing a lingering kiss to Lena’s head, knowing she is toeing the line between friendship and more. The lines are becoming hazy and she knows its only going to hurt if Lena finds out her true feelings. Because Lena is with James and she won’t come between the two.

Being best friends will have to be enough for her.


	2. crashing into you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena finds out about Shelly Island and deals with James. Kara gets an unexpected visitor.

Its been three weeks since Lena went to Kara, since she woke up in Kara’s arms feeling safer than she ever did with James. Honestly she thought it was a dream when she first woke. There was no way Kara could have been so understanding, not after the kryptonite incident but she was wrong. Kara has learned from her mistakes, has acknowledge where she went wrong and Lena loves her even more for it.

Which is why she is avoiding her.

The morning after was too domestic, Kara waking next to her and making her breakfast, even lending her clothes to wear to work. It made her long for a life like that with Kara. One she knew she could never have. So she pushes Kara away. She basically runs back to James that day, trying to forget the feeling of warmth filling her entire being with every sweet gesture Kara made.

She tries but fails miserably. Every time James touches her, Kara’s face flashes through her mind and she is filled with guilt. She knows she is stringing James along, using him but she can’t stop. Because its easier to be with him than be alone and still longing for Kara.

But she knows she can’t avoid Kara forever. Which is proven correct when she steps foot inside the bar with James. There Kara is sitting alone at the bar top, a glass in her hand, swirling the liquid lazily before she downs the drink in one gulp.

And then her head is turning sharply, almost like she could sense Lena, which she probably can now that she thinks about it. Kara’s initial surprise morphs into a bitter smile as she takes Lena in, James’ arm around her waist possessively and Lena can feel the shame fill her chest. Her heart drops when Kara looks away quickly and motions for another drink.

“What do you want to drink?” James asks and Lena bites the inside of her cheek as she tears her eyes from Kara’s hunched form.

“Uh, a scotch thanks.”

James nods and heads to the bar, settling next to Kara leaving Lena to find a table. She does quickly and watches the pair speak in hushed tones, their conversation quickly becoming heated as Kara shoves away from the bar angrily and storms out, leaving without a glance at Lena.

“One scotch,” James offers as he sits across from her and she nods distractedly taking the glass.

“What was that about?” Lena questions nodding towards the bar and James sighs.

“She’s holding a grudge. She thinks I willingly activated the bomb for the Children of Liberty with Supergirl inside the monument.”

Lena stiffens in surprise and sets her glass down firmly.

“What?” Lena whispers hoarsely, this being the first time she has heard of this.

“Yeah when I was taken by the Children of Liberty they had me set off a bomb on Shelly Island. But they told me no one was inside the monument,” James explains and Lena scoffs.

“And you believed them?” Lena asks incredulously and James frowns sitting back in his chair.

“I had other reason not to.”

“You had no- are you serious James? They are a goddamn domestic terrorist organization, of course they are going to lie to you! I can’t believe this.” Lena rubs a hand across her face and rubs her temple, feeling a migraine forming.

“I didn’t have a choice Lena! It was either blow up the monument or they kill one of the men who tried to help me escape.”

“You did have a choice James. When I told you to go to the round table discussion. If you had just listened to me and gone none of that would have happened!” Lena hisses angrily and James scoffs.

“You don’t know that. If I wasn’t there Supergirl would have been killed.”

“You really think so? If I asked Supergirl herself she will have a different story. She probably saved herself, most likely having a close call and that would have been on you if she hadn’t gotten out. You activated the __bomb__ James.” Lena stresses and James crosses his arms defensively.

“I was trying to protect the city.”

“At what cost? Supergirl’s life? Yours? You willingly went to meet them James. You put yourself in a horrible position because you just need to be the hero,” Lena spits out in disgust, her head shaking.

“I did what was right,” James argues and Lena releases a bitter laugh.

“No you did what you thought would benefit yourself. You thought you would become a big hero by finding out who is in charge but all that did was make you the poster child for the Children of Liberty.”

“This is my life Lena, not yours and I don’t get why you can’t just trust me, and support my decisions?”

“Why would I do that when you won’t give me the same courtesy? You know what? This was a mistake,” Lena mutters and stands from the table, James quick to follow, confused.

“What is a mistake?”

“Us. I never should have let it get this far. We are done James. And so are you as CatCo’s CEO. I can’t have someone who is willing to join a terrorist organization running my company. You have till the end of the day tomorrow to pack up your things in the office. After that we will discuss what will happen next.”

“What? You can’t do that Lena! Cat made me CEO for a reason.”

“And you really think if she was still here that she would let you step one foot in the building after what you have done? No. She would have you taken out by security and then write an article about it. I suggest you don’t fight this Mr. Olsen. It will not end well for you.”

James scoffs, anger radiating off him in waves and Lena grabs her purse, shouldering it roughly.

“Whatever Lena. Good luck finding someone to take my place. No one’s going to want to work for a Luthor,” James spits and Lena sends him a cold smile.

“Oh I don’t need luck Olsen. I have the perfect replacement.”

Lena sends him a withering smile before storming out of the bar, already pulling out her phone. Holding it up to her ear she waits for the person to answer, it ringing four times before their voice comes across the line.

“Baby Luthor, I was wondering when you would call.”

Lena smiles when she hears their drawl and relaxes.

“I’m not surprised you know what is going on. And I think you know exactly why I am calling.”

“Always were a smart one.”

“Am I correct in assuming you want the position?” Lena asks lightly and they chuckle.

“I’ll be in National City tomorrow at noon. Tell Kiera to have my coffee ready.”

Lena huffs a laugh and shakes her head in amusement.

“I will Cat. See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight Lena.”

“Goodnight.”

When she hears the dial tone she pulls the phone away from her ear and stuffs it in her purse before heading into the parking lot towards her car.

She has a best friend to visit.

\-----------

When Kara flies through her window after stopping a mugging she falters when she sees Lena sitting at the breakfast bar, an empty bottle of wine in front of her.

“Sorry I broke in. Though is it breaking in when you have a key?” Lena questions sluggishly and Kara purses her lips as she walks over to stand across from Lena.

Lena rests her chin on her palm watching as Kara sighs and reaches underneath the sink to grab a clear bottle with no label on it. The liquid inside appears to be a light purple and Lena furrows her brows.

“Alien alcohol,” Kara supplies, taking a large swig.

“Always wondered if you could get drunk,” Lena mutters and Kara hums, placing the bottle on the counter.

“Why are you here Lena?”

Lena grimaces and looks down as her fingers fiddle with her wine glass.

“James told me what happened. On Shelly Island. I didn’t know,” Lena whispers and Kara releases a long sigh before boosting herself onto the counter by the sink so she can watch Lena.

“Yeah well…” Kara trails off with a shrug and takes a gulp from her bottle. “Hazard of the job I guess,” Kara mutters and Lena nods slowly.

“I broke up with him.”

Kara’s eyes zero in on Lena after the blunt confession and inhales sharply.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I also fired him,” Lena says with a bitter smile and Kara’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“What?”

“He basically joined a terrorist organization Kara. I’m not going to let him continue running my company after all he’s done.”

“No I get that. I’m just surprised is all. Its been three weeks since it happened so I just assumed you…” Kara trails off and Lena eyes her knowingly.

“That I didn’t care because he was my boyfriend? Yeah no. I had no knowledge of it until tonight. I’ve been so busy with things at L-Corp and… the fallout of my trials that I haven’t really talked with him. Nor did he inform me of what happened. Guess that's a sign that we shouldn't have been together in the first place.”

“Why were you?” Kara asks bluntly and Lena lifts her gaze, eyeing Kara critically.

“Because I was tired of being alone. And he seemed like a good decision at the time. Its not like I had a lot of people lined up to date me Kara,” Lena explains, slightly defensive and Kara releases a humorous chuckle.

“Right. Like you couldn’t get anyone you wanted,” Kara mutters, pressing the bottle to her lips as Lena straightens up.

“What does that mean?” Lena snaps and Kara sighs, staring off to the side for a minute before facing Lena.

“It means that you are _Lena Luthor_. You are brilliant, gorgeous and the kindest person I know. Yet you settled for James. God Lena he hated you. I had to fight him at every turn when it came to anything involving you. He wanted me to give up and let you rot in prison because of his disgusting prejudice against your family. And then all of a sudden you two were together? I just didn’t get it. I still don’t know how it happened.”

Kara shakes her head in anger and Lena sucks in a deep breath.

“Like your relationship with Mon-El was any better. He treated you like shit,” Lena mutters and Kara scoffs.

“James was no better to you.”

Lena sighs and deflates, knowing they could go back and forth all night about this. But she is exhausted and just wants Kara’s comforting presence even though she shouldn’t. She doesn’t deserve to indulge in the warmth Kara provides, no matter how many times Kara tells her she does. She still doesn’t believe good things come to her without consequence.

But tonight she is drunk, and doesn’t want to fight herself.

“Look I didn’t come here to argue about our shit ex-boyfriends okay?”

“Then why exactly are you here? You’ve been avoiding me for three weeks Lena and then suddenly you show up out of the blue?” Kara questions, hurt filling her features and Lena swallows the lump in her throat.

“I know. I just…” Lena trails off at a loss for words and Kara crosses her arms over her chest as she waits. “I was overwhelmed okay? The morning after our talk, after spilling everything to you… it was too raw. I felt exposed and I don’t like feeling like that. And I know you have this like infinite belief in me that I am good but I’m not. I’m selfish and waking up with you made me feel safe and wanted and desire something I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have felt more at home with you than I have ever felt with someone, than I ever have with James. So I ran. I ran to James to try and bury that feeling but all I did was double the guilt I feel because I knew I was using him as a distraction to keep me away from you.”

Lena blinks owlishly at Kara when she finishes, not having realized she was rambling or really what she was confessing until she plays back her words in her head.

 _I just basically confessed my feelings for Kara_ Lena think to herself and immediately the panic sets in.

This is why she should never drink.

Kara slowly slides off the counter gracefully, an unreadable expression on her face and closes the distance between them. Lena turns on the stool hesitantly when Kara rounds the island and bites the inside of her cheek when Kara steps between her legs.

Heart pounding she closes her eyes when Kara’s hands cup her face and when she opens them again Kara’s face is inches from hers, blue eyes dark and filled with something akin to hunger and longing and it has Lena swallowing roughly just before Kara's lips are on hers.

The kiss is anything but sweet and gentle. No its full of passion and hunger as Kara pushes into Lena’s body, fingers tangling in Lena’s long locks as their lips move together and tongues battle for dominance. Lena moans into Kara's mouth and relents her control, allowing Kara to lead, pulling a smirk from the blonde as she changes the angle.

“Kara,” Lena rasps, her tone full of need and that's all it takes for Kara to snap, her hands sliding under Lena’s thighs, lifting her effortlessly onto the counter as she continues to ravish Lena’s mouth.

Her fingers slide under Lena’s white blouse, tracing Lena’s sides earning her a twitch when she hits a particularly sensitive spot. But she doesn’t focus on it, letting her hands travel up further until her fingers are toying with the underside of Lena’s bra.

“Off,” Lena mumbles into Kara’s lips breathlessly and Kara nods, latching onto Lena’s lips once more hungrily.

A rip echos through the apartment followed by Lena’s gasp and husky laugh as she takes in the state of her blouse. The shirt is now ripped in two, Kara having pulled it apart from the back without pause.

“You’re lucky I’m rich,” Lena whispers and Kara chuckles lightly, tossing the fabric to the floor before leaning back into Lena, her hands eagerly grasping bare skin.

“You’re breathtaking,” Kara says, awe filling her features as she takes in a half naked Lena, pale skin and full breasts being held in by a black lacy bra that probably costs more than her rent.

“I’d prefer if you don’t rip that too,” Lena teases as Kara eyes remain locked on her chest. Kara blushes slightly but nods and lets Lena bury her fingers in blonde locks, pulling Kara’s face towards hers, eagerly locking their lips again.

Kara hums contently when Lena’s nails run along her scalp and her arms wind around Lena’s waist, tugging the woman against her body completely. Lena wraps her free arm around Kara's shoulders and then she is being lifted again, her legs coming to wrap around Kara’s waist tightly as Kara carries her through the apartment. Pulling back for air she finds her back hitting a wall with a thud and Kara pressing the length of her body against her, her lips now trailing down Lena’s neck pulling sinful moans from her.

“Shit Kara,” Lena hisses when Kara begins sucking on her pulse point before soothing the area with her tongue. Lena shivers as Kara’s breath caresses her skin, nose sliding against the underside of her jaw until she reaches her ear.

Lena gasps when Kara nips at her earlobe and then proceeds to press a hard kiss behind her ear. Lena’s fingers dig into Kara’s shoulders as a shiver races up her spine. She buries her fingers in long blonde curls, tugging on them, pulling Kara’s head up so she can press a hard kiss to Kara’s lips.

“You’re still overdressed,” Lena moans into Kara’s mouth and Kara chuckles.

Suddenly her stomach is swooping and seconds later her back is pressed into the soft mattress of Kara’s bed, Kara’s body covering the length of hers. She doesn’t get to enjoy it for long because Kara is then up and zipping out of her suit, letting it drop to the floor, leaving her in nothing but a grey sports bra and boy shorts set.

Lena feels her breath catch as she takes in the length of Kara’s body.

She is absolutely stunning. Golden curls falling over broad shoulders, toned arms that she has ogled more than once throughout their friendship followed by her taunt stomach. A six pack of abs stare back at her and she almost whimpers at the sight.

Kara is fucking hot.

“Damn,” Lena mutters and grins when she notices the blush filling Kara’s cheeks. She finds it endearing how she can be so confident and dominating one second and then a blushing mess the next. But Lena supposes it was due to Kara being in her super suit.

Clearing her throat, Kara climbs onto the bed and settles on top of Lena, the pair moaning when their bare skin meet. Lena is quick to pull Kara's face down, crushing their lips into a heated kiss that steals Kara’s breath away. Kara’s hands search for Lena’s and when she does find them she links their fingers together and brings Lena’s arms up, holding them above her head in a firm grip.

Lena pulls back for air and arches her back, chest heaving as Kara once again moves her attention to Lena’s neck. Lips sucking on pale skin, leaving marks that she knows will be visible tomorrow. Lena’s grip on Kara’s hands tightens impressively when Kara nips at her collarbones and pushes her hips down into Lena’s in a slow grind that has Lena moaning loudly and arching even further into Kara’s muscular body.

They get lost in each other and soon they are completely bare, Lena’s undergarments and jeans being the first to go and then Kara’s bra and shorts.

The first touch of Kara’s fingers has Lena falling apart and just when she is about to come down from the high Kara is there pushing her over the edge again and again. She almost passes out after the fourth but manages to keep herself together long enough to switch their positions and after five minutes Kara is snapping her headboard and ripping her sheets.

Its after hours of passion that Lena finally accepts defeat and Kara wraps her in her arms, Lena clinging to her as they fall into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy!  
> I have added a chapter because I have a few more ideas for this.  
> And a big thank you to everyone who has left a comment or kudos! I really appreciate the support and it truly does keep my motivation up.


	3. morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. Kara speaks with Cat and Lena finds herself getting advice from Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I can only say I am horrible with sticking to one project and never fail to procrastinate.  
> But here is chapter 3 so I hope you enjoy!  
> Please drop a kudos or leave a comment if you dare.  
> Thank you to everyone who has read this so far and left comments and kudos I really appreciate your support!

When Lena’s eyes flutter open she finds her face pressed into a pillow that smells like Kara. Confused she carefully lifts her head and peers down at the other side of the bed, finding golden waves falling down a naked muscular back, grey sheets pooling around narrow hips. Kara is on her stomach, still sound asleep face turned to the right, away from Lena and arms stuffed under her pillow.

_Kara is naked. Why is she naked? Lena wonders, still half asleep but when she looks down at her own body her eyes catch sight of all the bruises scattered across her chest and stomach._

Slowly Lena’s muddled brain clears and the events from the night before come in flashes and she sucks in quiet breath.

She slept with her best friend. Said best friend who kissed her after Lena revealed her feelings. Yet hadn’t verbalized her own. Also who was at least tipsy when she did it.

 _Oh god. Did she only do that because she pitied me? There is no way she actually feels the same. She felt bad for me. She was drunk. She probably thinks it was a mistake._ Lena thinks in despair, her mind running a mile a minute as self doubt creeps in quickly.

Panicked, Lena quickly slides off the bed and grabs her clothes, only to realize her shirt had been destroyed. Kara having ripped it last night. A blush coats Lena’s cheeks when she thinks of it, the action having aroused her more than she thought possible. Shaking herself out of the memory she decides to grab the sweater off of Kara’s chair instead, promising herself to return it later. Once dressed, Lena looks back, finding Kara hasn’t moved, still breathing deeply and on her stomach splayed out.

Her heart clenches at the sight, the woman so effortlessly gorgeous even in her sleep and Lena feels tears prick her eyes.

She most likely will never experience that sight again, not after this. Not after ruining their friendship. Sucking in a quivering breath, Lena heads out of the bedroom, and into the kitchen where she scribbles down a quick excuse as to why she left, stating she had a work emergency, when really she needs to leave before she breaks down.

Shoving on her shoes, Lena grabs her purse and jacket before unlocking the door as quietly as possible and pulling it open. She slips through, carefully shutting the door and turns only to almost run into one Alex Danvers.

Lena gulps and Alex raises a single brow, eyes narrowed and arms crossed over her chest as she eyes Lena critically.

“Are you in the middle of a walk of shame?” Alex asks seriously, not seeming surprised and Lena feels her cheeks heat up.

“What? No, of course not. Kara and I had a movie night and I am heading to work.”

Lena knows Alex doesn’t buy it when she purses her lips and nods almost mockingly.

“You know you may be a better liar than my sister but that was not convincing at all. Wanna know why?” Alex asks rhetorically and Lena sighs in defeat.

“Why?” Lena mutters in annoyance and Alex sends her a smirk.

“Cause of this wicked bruise right-” Alex reaches up and tugs at Lena’s coat collar, “Here.” She finishes with a gentle flick to Lena’s neck where a dark bruise has formed.

Lena’s eyes widen and she quickly slaps her hand over the hickey and Alex sends her a smug smirk.

“Now I don’t know what caused you to ditch my sister but I am guessing you are over thinking just like she does. So you are going to come with me and hang out at my apartment until you stop freaking out. Got it?” Alex demands and Lena can do nothing but nod.

“Good. Let’s go Luthor.” Alex wraps her arm around Lena’s shoulders and leads her downstairs.

\------

A quickening heartbeat wakes Kara and she almost moves to check the cause of it only to hear a rustle on the left side of her bed and two feet hitting the floor with a quiet thud. The next few minutes are filled with the rustling of clothing and she squeezes her eyes shut, knowing that she is about to be left.

She hears Lena head for the door and pause so she makes sure to keep her breathing deep and even as to not let Lena know she is awake.

When she hears her apartment door shut with a quiet click she lets the tears fall. One rolls down her cheek and more follow quickly as the pain of rejection hits her hard.

Kara releases a quiet sob, burying her face into her pillow, gripping it tightly.

Lena doesn’t want her. Even after everything she still left and its like Kara’s heart collapsed in on itself. There is a pressure on her chest that refuses to lift and it has her breaking.

Loud ugly sobs escape her and her whole body shakes with the force. She curls up on her side, hugging the pillow Lena had used. With shaky movements she pulls her duvet up and over her, wrapping it around herself until she is in a burrito made of her blankets.

She stays there crying for two hours until her alarm goes off telling her she needs to get to CatCo. Using every bit of her strength she manages to leave her bed and get dressed.

She needs to press a cool cloth to her eyes to sooth the soreness. They aren’t as swollen or red by the time she leaves but she still feels the heaviness on her chest and like she will crack into a million pieces at any moment.

Because she thought she finally got to be with Lena, in every way imaginable, got to touch her soft skin and kiss her lips. She got to worship the woman she loves only to be abandoned afterwards and that hurts worse than she could have imagined.

She notices the note on her way out, pausing for a second to read it but she knows its a lie. Its an excuse to leave without making Kara feel bad but if shes being honest she would have preferred no note. She doesn’t need Lena’s guilt letter. Doesn’t need the reminder that she wasn’t enough for Lena to stay.

Crumpling the note she throws it across the room before storming out of her apartment, just barely remembering to lock it. She walks all the way to CatCo. Her muscles are coiled, brimming with tension, pace brisk as she dodges people swiftly and when she finally reaches the building she is ready to send her fist through a wall.

Its not until she heads for her desk that she notices something is different. The air around the office seems tense and nervous and she is confused until she hears it.

“Kiera! Where is my coffee?”

Kara’s head shoots up so fast her neck cracks and she stares across the room at Cat who is at the door of James’ -or she guesses is back to being Cat’s -office with her hands on her hips and narrowed gaze as she stares down Kara.

Kara releases a disbelieving huff and quickly makes a beeline for Cat who sends her a smirk.

“Miss me?” She asks coyly and Kara releases a long sigh.

“Like you wouldn’t believe Miss Grant. Nothing has been the same without you.”

“Well obviously. Look at my office Kiera. What was that man child thinking? This is absolutely revolting. Wood? Really? Ugh I’m going to have to redecorate this entire office once again.”

Kara watches in reserved amusement as Cat goes on a rant, stalking around the office flicking things in disgust as she goes and Kara sighs quietly. She missed her mentor and her crazy rants.

“Kiera are you listening?” Cat demands and Kara blinks out of her daze to focus on Cat.

“Uh yes Miss Grant. You want all the shelves gone, a new desk and nicer couches. Along with a new desk chair,” Kara states at random, having guessed and Cat narrows her gaze.

“I know you weren’t paying attention but that was impressive. I hadn’t thought about couches but yes add that to the list.”

“Uh Miss Grant? You know I’m not an assistant any longer right?” Kara asks hesitantly and Cat rolls her eyes.

“Of course I know that. But write it down anyway. I’ll need something to hand my new assistant when I get one. Now follow me out onto the balcony, we have lots to discuss. One of the topics being as to why you have been crying,” Cat says and spins on her heels, heading for the balcony.

Kara’s eyes widen surprise and she reaches up to adjust her glasses before following.

\---------

“So you think my sister had sex with you because she pitied you,” Alex says slowly and Lena grimaces.

“When you say it like that it sounds stupid.”

“Because it is stupid Luthor. My sister would never be intimate someone because she felt bad! God she didn’t even kiss Winn back when he confessed his love for her and made a move,” Alex groans and Lena feels her stomach sink. “And there is no way in hell that was a one night stand for her. She hates the thought of using someone for sex. You have no idea how many lectures I received over the years whenever I went home with someone.”

Lena groans and covers her face, falling back onto the couch as Alex watches in sympathy from the arm chair.

“Oh god, I really screwed up.”

“I was going to say royally fucked up but that works too.”

“What do I do?” Lena whispers looking over at Alex desperately earning her an exasperate sigh.

“You tell her how you feel. And I mean the whole ‘I’m in love with you’ thing because that girl is head over heels for you. She has been for a long time. Probably since you met but has only just realized. And don’t even think about saying she doesn't because I have had about fifty conversations with her about this and I am sick of it. You two need to get your shit together before I do something drastic. I will arrest you both and hold you at the DEO if necessary so will you please put my sister out of her misery?” Alex pleads and Lena slowly sits up.

“Okay I believe you. But I need to do something first. I feel awful about leaving her like that. She deserved better.”

“Yes she did. But she will also understand when you explain it to her. She is probably feeling just as shitty, thinking she took advantage of you or something.”

\----------

“So you had hot drunken sex with Lena Luthor, is that what I am hearing?” Cat asks and Kara blushes hard.

“I didn’t say hot,” Kara mumbles and Cat raises a brow.

“Was it not?”

“Well yes but that’s-” Cat waves her off and Kara sighs slumping against the railing in defeat.

“So what is the issue?”

Kara swallows roughly and looks down over the city as she braces her forearms on the railing, wringing her fingers together.

“She left,” Kara whispers after a minute and Cat sighs.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Kara mutters and Cat moves to mimic Kara’s position next to her. “I mean she left a note but I could tell it was an excuse to leave without hurting my feelings. But it doesn’t matter because if she really wanted me she would have stayed.”

“That is true. But do you think maybe she is freaking out as well? You two are best friends as you have told me and you just slept together. She may have confessed her feelings but she also was intoxicated. Maybe she wasn’t ready to confess.”

Kara freezes and immediately stands up, whirling around to face Cat in a panic.

“Oh Rao. She was drunk. I mean I was slightly tipsy but she was drunk. I kissed her without consent. I didn’t ask if she wanted to do more. Miss Grant what did I do? I took advantage of my best friend. And on top of that she just broke up James like an hour prior. Oh god I think I’m going to be sick,” Kara mutters in despair her stomach lurching at the thought and Cat is quick to grab her arm.

“Whoa no. None of that. Lena would never have allowed it to go any further if she was truly uncomfortable no matter how drunk she was. This is not all on you Kara. Lena is an adult and she can make her own decisions and it seems to me she was just as willing but waking up after your night together was probably a shock. That was all I was saying Kara. I do not believe you would ever take advantage of Lena’s drunken state. That is not you and Lena knows that.”

“Okay. Okay. But I should have still asked.”

“That may be but its in the past now. So lets get back to what is important here,” Cat says and Kara furrows her brows confused. “Just how good was it?”

Kara chokes on her next breath and splutters as her face heats up with a wicked blush earning herself a loud cackle from Cat.

“Oh your face,” Cat sighs with a chuckle and Kara pouts turning to leave.

“I’m going now.”

“Bring me back a coffee!” Cat calls when Kara enters her office and Kara chuckles sending nod to her boss before turning back around.

Kara’s steps falter when she notices the new presence in Cat’s office, having just stepped inside.

“Oh, um hi Kara,” Lena says nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and it has Kara’s heart beating faster, a flash of her doing just that last night before kissing Lena’s lips roughly crosses her mind and she clears her throat awkwardly.

“Lena. I uh, I’m just heading to get Miss Grant her coffee so…” Kara trails off waving behind Lena vaguely and she nods quickly.

“Right,” Lena mutters and steps aside letting Kara pass. Kara has just stepped past her when Lena suddenly reaches out. “Wait Kara. Can we talk? Please?” Lena asks hesitantly, tightening her grip on Kara’s forearm before dropping her hand quickly.

Kara looks over and adjusts her glasses before nodding.

“Sure. Um do you want to go somewhere or…?”

“Follow me.”

Kara nods and lets Lena walk ahead following a step behind until they stop in front of one of the abandoned offices. Lena enters and holds the door open for Kara before shutting it behind her.

Kara looks around nervously struggling to think of something to say when she is saved by Lena speaking first.

“I’m sorry.”

Kara looks over and finds Lena biting her thumbnail, one of her nervous habits and Kara swallows roughly.

“For what?” Kara asks casually and Lena sends her a knowing look.

“For leaving this morning. When I saw you next to me, naked, I kind of freaked out. Everything came rushing back and I panicked. I thought I ruined everything. I didn’t even entertain the idea that you could feel the same way I do especially when you didn’t say anything after I confessed my feelings. And I know now that I was wrong to believe you pitied me and that’s why you kissed me,” Lena explains and Kara furrows her brows.

“What? You thought I pitied you?”

“Its stupid I know I just couldn’t believe that you would kiss me because you actually wanted to. That you felt the same way because I’m me Kara. I’m not good. I’m selfish and I lie and I hurt you. And after everything that went down with Reign I never thought I would have a chance with you. Not after I betrayed you and after we fought. But I couldn’t be more relieved that I chose to come to you after Adam died. Because if I hadn’t, what happened last night never would have come to be and I loved every second of it Kara. I am in love with you and I am terrified but I wouldn’t change a thing,” Lena says, coming to a stop in front of Kara who stares at her in disbelief.

“You love me?” Kara whispers and Lena nods with a bashful smile.

“Is that okay?”

“Is that okay? Lena I am trying so hard not to fly out that window right now and shout with joy.”

Lena releases a startled laugh and Kara grins widely before ducking her head to lock their lips together, her arms wrapping around Lena’s back and Lena cups Kara’s face immediately, pushing into her as their lips move together lazily.

“I love you Lena Luthor,” Kara whispers against Lena’s lips and Lena looks up with a wide smile.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kara mumbles before pressing their lips together once more. Lena’s hands slide from Kara’s cheeks and move into her blonde locks as Kara tugs her closer so there is no space between them. Lena moans when Kara nips at her bottom lip and a second later her legs are wrapped around Kara’s waist and her back is pressed into a bookshelf.

Pulling back Lena sweeps her hair back and lifts Kara’s face, smiling down at her as a feeling of giddiness fills her. Kara immediately sends her the bright smile that is reserved for her, the one that has her lips pulling up in a lopsided manner looking almost goofy with her eyes crinkling around the edges, dark blue always full of soft affection and adoration. And Lena wonders how she never noticed before.

Leaning down she kisses Kara tenderly, slow and thorough and it has her body tingling. Kara’s arm tighten around her and she sighs contently, sinking into Kara’s body.

When they finally pull back they are breathless and flushed, Kara’s hair slightly mussed and lips covered in Lena’s red lipstick.

Lena chuckles and quickly wipes Kara’s mouth before fixing her blonde hair.

“I love you,” Kara whispers and Lena hums, eyes sparkling brightly with a look of love only ever directed at Kara.

“I love you too. But we need to get back to work.”

Kara pouts but it fades when Lena is quick to kiss it away and after a few lingering kisses and another round of wiping away lipstick she sets down Lena and helps her clean up her appearance.

“Okay lets go,” Lena says tugging Kara towards the door by the hand only to be pulled back into Kara’s chest, strong arms wrapped around her stomach. Lena laughs when Kara nuzzles her neck. “Kara we really need to get back,” She argues and Kara groans.

“You’re the boss though. Can’t you just say we had an urgent matter to attend?” Kara whines and Lena chuckles, turning in Kara’s arms.

“I would but I need to meet with Cat. And I believe she is expecting you back with a coffee correct?”

Kara scowls and huffs in annoyance earning an eye roll from Lena.

“We will be able to be with each other all night okay?” Lena asks and Kara sighs.

“That’s like eight hours from now.”

“Then you better get to it so the day goes by faster.”

“Fine.” Kara mutters but pulls Lena in for a fierce kiss that has Lena melting and her knees going weak. Her hand finds the front of Kara’s shirt and she is tugging her forward when the door suddenly swings open. Kara jolts back and the pair look towards the door finding James standing there with disbelief and anger written across his features.

“Shit,” Kara mutters and Lena can’t help but agree.

Shit indeed.


	4. coming together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is yeeted. Kara and Lena together forever.

It seems like Kara and James are locked in a battle of wills. Who will look away first?

In the end its James who breaks eye contact only to focus on Lena, betrayal written across his face before it morphs into anger.

“So this is your way of getting back at me? Go and hookup with my best friend because I did what I thought was right? What the hell Lena?” James asks, voice loud and harsh and Kara is quick to step in front of Lena when James moves forward aggressively.

“Stay where you are James,” Kara orders and he sends her a withering glare.

“Or what _Supergirl_?” James spits and Kara freezes a look of disbelief crossing her features. Sure Lena knows already but James didn’t know that. He thought he was using her secret against her and that has a fire burning in the pit of her stomach.

Lena couldn’t believe he just did that. And looking at Kara she knows she never expected that from James either. She watches as Kara’s expression shutters, her disbelief morphing into fury so fast it could give someone whiplash. She has never seen Kara so angry in her life not even when they got into their argument about kryptonite. So to see this side of Kara is kind of terrifying. Its a major contrast to her sunny disposition.

“The fact that you just exposed the biggest secret I have to purposefully try and ruin my relationship with Lena just proves how you are no good for her. If you can throw that in my face after everything we have been through then I can’t even imagine what you have done to Lena in the short time you were together,” Kara all but growls as she stalks towards James, finishing with a hard finger jab to his chest causing him to take a few steps back.

James glares right back, too prideful or Lena guesses too stupid to back down especially when Kara looks like she just might follow through on the threat she loves to use; and sling his sorry ass into the sun.

“Don’t act so high and mighty Kara. You have done your fair share to her. What makes you better than me huh?” James demands and Kara inhales sharply trying to quell her anger.

“Well for starters I didn’t join a terrorist organization and almost kill my so called best friend in the process,” Kara snaps and James swallows roughly the only sign he was affected by her words.

“Oh and I didn’t treat my girlfriend like she was nothing but a side piece, some arm candy that I could parade around, using her status for my own gain. And this is my favourite. I didn’t yell at her for stepping in and getting prison charges dropped, practically telling her she doesn’t know how to love. So cut the shit James. You never deserved Lena. You used her and got angry when she protected you and in the back of your mind you never saw her as anything other than a Luthor. So really, you are the one who doesn’t know what love is.”

Lena stares at Kara, stunned. She had no idea she had known about her argument with James after thanksgiving dinner. But she should have known their yelling would have been picked up by Kara’s super hearing.

“Screw you Kara. Screw both of you. I’m not the only one who made mistakes. And I don’t need this. Have fun with this disaster of relationship. You two deserve each other,” James grounds out and Kara rolls her eyes as James stalks off, slamming the door behind him, leaving Kara and Lena alone.

“Well that went well,” Lena sighs and Kara hums in agreement.

“Come on, we should go see Cat.”

Lena nods her agreement and lets Kara lead her out of the room, feeling like a weight has been removed from her shoulders.

\-------

The rest of the day goes by without any more drama, the pair earning only a little teasing from Cat when they met up. They also learned from Cat that James had left for Metropolis but not before having a fit in Cat’s office.

Kara received a call an hour later from a very confused Clark but after explaining to him what happened he sided with her and her decisions, telling her he would speak to James and told her he and Lois wanted a double date soon.

After that call and following up with a lead from Snapper Kara is finally able to head home, Lena having headed to L-Corp and currently in a meeting leaving Kara to her own devices for the meantime until Lena was finished.

But when Kara steps foot inside her apartment she finds that's not the case. There, Lena stands with a large bouquet of white plumerias dressed in a tight navy blue dress, no heels in sight and hair half braided back leaving the rest cascading over her bare shoulders.

Kara blinks in surprise and drops her bag as a wide grin spreads across Lena’s face.

“Surprise?” Lena asks and Kara releases a chuckle.

“I would say. What’s all this for?” Kara asks walking towards Lena after she shuts the door. Lena leans in and presses a lingering kiss to Kara’s lips before placing the flowers in her hands.

“For being you. And its kind of an apology for my hasty exit this morning. I know I hurt you and made you second guess what last night meant and that was never my intention. I love you and last night was perfect. But tonight I was thinking we could do a part two. This time with a candle lit dinner and maybe some dancing. What do you think?” Lena asks softly, head tilt cutely and Kara smiles.

“I think I love you Lena Luthor,” Kara replies and Lena grins widely.

“Well I knew that,” Lena teases and Kara chuckles before wrapping Lena in her arms, carefully arranging the flowers so they don’t get crushed.

“To answer your question truthfully, I am all for it. But one condition.”

“And what is that?”

Kara pulls back and Lena stares up at her expectantly.

“Pajamas are a must,” Kara says seriously and Lena laughs brightly.

“Whatever you want Kar.”

“Good. Now lets change and then eat because I am starving.”

Lena rolls her eyes affectionately and watches as Kara carefully places the flowers in a vase with water before she is suddenly being scooped up, Kara using her speed to reach the bedroom as Lena laughs loudly.

After changing into pajamas -Kara in her Lilo and Stitch pair and Lena in her Olaf ones- they finally setting at the dinning table to eat the meal Lena had ordered. All of Kara’s favourite Chinese food as well as pizza.

As suspected Kara eats all the food Lena ordered, along with dessert while Lena watches with a smile, happy that Kara is happy and enjoying the food.

Its after Lena has placed the dishes in the sink that she finally gets to have Kara is her arms, music flowing softly through the loft and she thinks this must be heaven.

Kara hums along to the song with Lena’s head pressed against hers their cheeks brushing as they sway and she can’t help but feel like she is finally whole. There slow dancing with Lena wrapped around her in her dimly lit apartment she is finally at peace and she never wants to go a day without this. Without holding Lena close and just being.

Slowly Lena pulls back and when Kara opens her eyes she locks onto sea green. Her lips pull up into a soft smile and Lena’s lips latch onto hers in a slow kiss.

“I love you Kara Danvers,” Lena mumbles against Kara’s mouth and Kara tightens her arms around Lena’s waist.

“I love you too Lena Luthor,” Kara whispers and presses her lips against Lena’s once again.

Kissing Lena Luthor is like coming home. Warm and soothing, full of love and the feeling of being completely at ease.

Kissing Kara Danvers is like finally having everything you ever wanted fall into place. Relief and contentment, filled with the excitement of what the future holds, at last being tethered after floating through dreams of ‘what if’ for so long searching but never finding.

Until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap!   
> Finally a fic I have actually finished, shocking I know. 2019 is off to great start!  
> I hoped you enjoyed this and please drop a kudos or comment to let me know how I did.  
> Thank you all for reading and leaving your feedback it was all amazing.


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